were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
