There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
