after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
