It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
