we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
lets start a swedish sibling band together
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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