i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
