Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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