Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake