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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.

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• (415): View more from California

  I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

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• (631): View more from New York

  she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  can i bring anything?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  is there a theme i should know about?

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?

  (845): View more from New York

  Hahah good point

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail

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