And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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