PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
