put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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