she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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