she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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