It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
