Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
