that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
