just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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