I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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