im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
