every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
