Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
