winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
