in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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