Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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