I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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