sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
