i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
