I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
