come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
