It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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