It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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