why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
