I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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