All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You are a genius and a whore.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
