no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
