Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize