This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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