I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
