I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
