Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
