Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
