we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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