The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
