Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
