no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
