I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
