Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
