You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
