I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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