i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
