This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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