just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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