i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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