I must be too annoying 4 u.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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