Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You left your phone here
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