I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
