Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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