even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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