You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize