everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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