i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
