I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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