is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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